Guys for me, the story that resonates pretty hardcore is I dropped out of college three times.
The first time I was 19. I was going to Blinn. I was doing good. Wasn’t loving it, but I was doing good and I got jumped by a bunch of guys at a party. They beat me up while I was unconscious. They broke every bone on the right side of my face. I had a hole in my lip and my eyelid was down to here and I had a yellow sweater on that was red from colors.
So I thought I was going to go back to school the next day, that wasn’t the case by any stretch of the imagination, so my mom came and got me. I went back home. I slept for three days straight because I was on drugs to numb the pain. Long story short. My dad’s a doctor I got in. They fixed my eye orbital, my right side of my face.
In about, I’d say six to eight months after that, I was like,
“I’m going to go back to school.”
But what I didn’t realize is that that incident affected me more than I thought. And mentally I was just not in a place to do that. I thought it was what I should have done. I thought it was what I was supposed to do was to go to school, but I had never really addressed the issue and, and never really put it to bed.
So that lasted about a semester. Wound up doing terrible in school, dropped out again. And then I went and worked for like a year and a half, two years. And then I said, “You know what? I’m going to give it another shot. I really needed to go to school. This is what my dad wants for me. This is what my mom wants. I’m going to go do this.”
So I go back to school for the third time. Well, this one lasts for a little longer, about a year and a half. And then I just stopped going to school because I was making a ton of money bartending and frankly, I just really hated it. It wasn’t for me, it never was for me. I didn’t find much joy out of it. I thought it was stupid because I was making a bunch of money and I was like,
“Why do you need algebra and all this stuff?”
And there was so much resentment that I was doing it for other people that really hurt me internally. And every time I failed that was another promise I broke to myself. That was another issue that Austin’s not good enough. That’s another reason while I won’t get to where I need to go and looking back on it, really it just destroyed my self-confidence and because I was doing it for other people, not doing it for myself.
And so I’m literally having negative thoughts. Like,
“You’re not good enough.
You never finish anything.
And do you ever feel this way?
Did these thoughts ever come in?
Are you living your life for other people?”
I mean, that’s the question and I’m Austin Linney and I guarantee you that I’ve had more rock bottoms than you have.